What in the world is my serious mental affliction? Why is it that I am seemingly incapable of having or creating friends? Or, even those that can inveigle upon me some sense of appreciation, nay even a concern about me?
Why is it that I try to do the correct thing, or even stand up for myself, it is still incorrect? If the rules are that NO ONE does such and such a thing, then why is alright for everyone else to do it, and not me? Take for example, it is seemingly alright for people to sit down and have fun, or even to have a small break, once in awhile; but I do that for even a minute and it is wrong.
No matter, what I try to accomplish it never seems to go the way it should. I am educated, but am always in menial work. I love working with people, but people seem to have an intense dislike for me. I can't seem to ask questions, but everyone else can ask the questions that I have and even have them answered or acknowledged.
I am not a person that is comfortable in the masses. Never have been. I am not comfortable having any type of spotlight on me. I know that there are a lot more people out there that are better suited for such limelight. That is, not to say, that I dislike having some praise; but I just seem to not do anything worthy of praise.
I can't seem to show any interest in others' lives, at least how they seem to think I should. I can't ask questions, because it should be, in their words 'none of my concern'. So, how can one have any type of life; if all one is told is that they are defective.
1 comment:
I wish I had the perfect words to make everything seem, feel or appear better. My heart hurts for you that you're having these feelings. Life can be so hard and frustrating at times. I wish it wasn't. I do know though, that when I think of you....I think of kindness. I was always amazed at how nice you were to others, even to those who may not have been kind in return. That was an amazing quality that I always admired in you.....ever since we were little. You are a special person with a lot to offer this world....don't let anyone tell or make you feel differently.
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