Ruminating on antecedent repercussions

As the event of my birth, draws ever closer. I begin to question why I am here. Not in the way of positional versus fate; but in a deep and ever thoughtful quest.

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and all I can say is that evidently I am not learning the lesson He thinks that I need to grasp. What is it about me that makes everyone eschew from? This is not something that I have recently been pondering either. Yes, I am reserved, but I still do enjoy life. I love everyone, with the exceptional few; but they are still my spiritual kin. I know what I like, try to ask for help.

Wait, maybe that is my issue. With the exception of a few choice people, I rarely get any help. THANKS MOM & DAD!!! Or, if I ask a question, I either get overlooked or treated with abhorrence. It does not help that I was one of those people in school. You know the ones I am referring to. So that has left me feeling like I really don't deserve a lot.

Now, I am by no means a Saint; but I do try my best. I can continuously ramble about my insufficiencies in the world of social graces. Maybe because I was sick a lot as a child, or possibly other reasons that are not fit to post to the world in general.

Hopefully, this year will better. Thank you for reading the unwanted musings of my mind.