Let me preclude this entry with saying that no one needs to worry about me.
Lately, I have been having feelings of not being worthy. Worthy to have a successful career, in the field that I worked so hard to get into. Having long term relationships. Of ever having someone, outside of my family, who truly cares for me. Or even wanting to get to know me.
I have tried numerous dating sites, and not one person wanting to get to know me. It's bad enough, thinking that I probably don't have anything to offer anyone; but to have that reflected back just hurts. What is so awful about me, what is so truly repugnant, that people can't take the time to see what is inside. For the whole of my life, or so it seems, I have had to battle with the public's conception of what and who I am.
I know that growing up, I did not take the best of care in my appearance, that I probably come off as just bizarre. Please someone interrupt me when I have gone too far. But, how can one change one's appearance or attitude, when no one approaches her and says, "Hey, I know that you have had it rough, but there are people out there that truly care about what happens to you."
Sorry just had to get that off my chest.
